Directions: Please finish reading Persuasion by Jane Austen. For a blog response, please post a dialogue between one character from Pride and Prejudice and one from Persuasion. The character from each book is trying to prove why his/her book is the superior work of Austen. Use direct examples from each book as evidence. As with the letter, please post a copy to Turnitin.com. We will share the brilliance in class.
This will count as a major grade!!!!
Also, when you return from the break....there will be....zombies!
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
Check out the book:
https://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Jane-Austen/dp/1594743355
Persuasion & Pride Dialogue Criteria & Rubric
A range has the following qualities:
- Well-written dialogue between a character from Pride and one from Persuasion
- Voice of each character is clear and satirical
- Script has a logical beginning, middle, and end with smooth transitions
- References to specific characters using specific examples of their dialogue and characterization
- References to specific storylines from the novels are cleverly incorporated into the dialogue
- References to themes from the novels are incorporated into the dialogue
- Allusions are incorporated to comedic effect
- Mr. Darcy says, “You must allow me to tell you how much I admire and love you!”
B range has the following qualities:
- Written dialogue between a character from Pride and one from Persuasion
- Voices of each character is clear
- Dialogue has a logical beginning, middle, and end
- References to characters using some examples of their dialogue and characterization
- References to general storylines from the novels
- References to themes from the novels
- Some allusions are incorporated
- Charlotte Lucas says, “I am quite content, Lizzy.”
C range has the following qualities:
- Dialogue is complete
- Dialogue does not have a logical progression
- General references to characters
- General references to general storylines from the novels
- General references to themes from the novels
- Perhaps too heavy on content from one book and not the other
- Mrs. Bennet says, “You have no respect for my poor nerves!”
D and F range has the following qualities:
- Dialogue is incomplete
- Dialogue consists of a series of moments
- Few references to characters
- Few references to general storylines from the novels
- Few references to themes from the novels
- No allusions are referenced
- Lady Catherine DeBourg says, “I am quite put out!”
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am at a loss. I don't think one of these books was better (or worse) than the other, so that rules out the argument over such. I lost my patience with both, and there was nobody in Pride and Prejudice or persuasion who really took any notice and would be liable to talk about that. This won't get me anywhere. Making irrelevant references is against regulations. All hope is lost.
ReplyDeleteBut there must be a conversation between characters from each, and I think I know how I can pull that off. Remember my letter where Mr. Collins announced to his uncle that he would take the Longbourn estate to impress his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh? Well, I guess his next step would be to take over Kellynch Hall by striking a bargain with Anne Elliot's cousin. The following dialogue between them would be a discussion of the bargain. But I won't say anymore, for I might come up with a surprise.
DeleteWilliam Walter Elliot Esquire is seated by the fire in the living room at Kellynch Hall. William Collins enters.
DeleteMr. Elliot: Who are you and what business brings you here?
Mr. Collins: My name is Williams Collins, and I’ve heard that your uncle nearly quit this place. I’m gathering wealth for the Hunsford parsonage. I intended to start with the Longbourn estate, through marriage to my cousin, Elizabeth Bennet.
Mr. Elliot: How did that go?
Mr. Collins: Terribly, she shooed me away by the time I got there, so in order not to let down my patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I had to confiscate it instead.
Mr. Elliot: No kidding! I had loved my cousin, Anne, but she married some naval captain. I believe his name is Frederick Wentworth. However, since I was the heir presumptive, I...basically had to do something similar to what you did.
Mr. Collins: Figures.
Mr. Elliot: Well, you’ve already got your uncle’s house, so you should be all set.
Mr. Collins: 1000* no! It’s my sworn duty as a clergyman to connect estates to the Hunsford Parsonage, and this one counts! (He jumps up and down as he says this.)
Mr. Elliot: Cool it, I’ve got an idea.
Mr. Collins: (Stops jumping up and down.) What’s that?
DeleteMr. Elliot: Captain Wentworth’s landing in the Thames to get his ship overhauled, so I might pay Anne a visit while this is going on.
Mr. Collins: And where do I come in?
Mr. Elliot: Could Lady Catherine spare a carriage?
Mr. Collins: Oh yes, she’s got loads of them.
Mr. Elliot: If you ask her to send someone to drive me to London, I will quit Kellynch Hall, just like my uncle.
Mr. Collins: It’s a deal.
On second thought, I didn't come up with anything other than what I disclosed, because any such surprises would probably involve stuff that had nothing to do with Pride and Prejudice or Persuasion.
DeleteActually, this "insert zombies" option reminds me of a surprise that I proposed attaching on the end. It would've served as comic relief for the fed-up and the impatient, but it contained seemingly irrelevant material, so I chickened out and deleted it. In any case, this "extension that almost was" starts right after Mr. Collins says, "It's a deal," and goes as follows:
DeleteBut before they can shake hands, the fire and lamps all go out, and a familiar green-haired humanoid in a red cloak and hat, both sporting white trim, emerges from the hearth.
DeleteGrinch: Halt!
Mr. Collins and Mr. Elliot both turn to face him.
Mr. Collins: Father Christmas, what are you doing here? It's not Christmas eve yet!
Grinch: I'm not St. Nicholas, I'm the Grinch! In any case, you're under arrest!
Mr. Elliot: You mean we're on the naughty list, Mr. Grinch?
The Grinch takes out a large book, and flips through it, stopping twice.
Grinch: Indeed you are. Come to think of it, your entire families are on the naughty list.
DeleteMr. Collins: Is this true?
Grinch: Carrie made this list and checked it twice, and you've all been doing something wrong.
Mr. Elliot: Can't imagine what we did.
Grinch: Well, it has been reported that the old-school transactions your families have been doing must stop. Not only are they commercial and sexist, but they also take a while. There are more productive and more fun things to do nowadays. Your families are being rounded up right now.
He draws out a bazooka. Mr. Collins and Mr. Elliot reach for the sky, but the Grinch fires anyway, enveloping them in a net. He stuffs them up the chimney.
Grinch: Long live Carrie White and Friends!
He climbs the chimney.
I didn't put this in the document because there was a lot of content unrelated to Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice or Persuasion. It consists of the following:
ReplyDeleteHow the Grinch Stole Christmas, by Dr. Seuss
Carrie, by Stephen King (Remember what I said about how I adopted Carrie White as the Empress of the Allies.)
The use of Santa Claus as a means of distinguishing right from wrong. (You may also be familiar with Krampus, the demon who rounds up naughty children, according to Pagan mythology.)
And last but not least, the whole thing, even the part I actually submitted, had Monty Python undertones. Monty Python is a comedy group owned by the B. B. C. I was trying to make this thing very silly, but It's probably just as well that the unnecessary deleted scenes weren't submitted on Turnitin.com.
Forgive me, I couldn't say one was better or worse than the other, so all I could get away with was a conversation between a character from Pride and Prejudice and a character from Persuasion.
DeleteAnd what I came up with was very simple. That's why I almost submitted those unrelated deleted scenes.
DeleteIf you think they're unnecessary, just ignore them.
DeleteAnd I'm not even making Jane Austen look bad! I get her point, and I'm trying to reinforce it!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTaking a break from their wives, Mr. Darcy and Captain Wentworth are taking tea in Bath.
ReplyDeleteDarcy: Why are our wives still arguing with each other?
Wentworth: Well, apparently they are continuing their discussion about whose romance was the most…
Darcy: Epic? I think that was the word that Lizzy used.
Wentworth (shaking his head): That would not be the word I would use, but it is likely the word the ladies would use when being so dramatic.
Darcy (leaning back in his chair with his cup of tea): Personally, I am not sure why this matters so much to them. I mean, Lizzy and I obviously had the least complicated of relationships compared to yours. However, both families were appropriately difficult to deal with.
Wentworth (leaning forward in his chair, grabbing his cup of tea with a small smirk): I don’t think your relationship was truly that uncomplicated. Good God man, she turned you down. She made you beg practically. That was hardly easy.
Darcy: Beg? Me? I simply explained myself. Besides, at least it only took me a year to get her to come to my way of thinking. Exactly how long did it take you to get around to asking Anne to marry you?
Wentworth (sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms after placing his cup of tea back down): It is not as if I planned to wait almost a decade to marry her.
Darcy (smiling smugly): No, she simply said “No” the first time. Hmmm… that seems vaguely familiar.
Wentworth: Maybe so. However, she said “No” because she was young and frustrated. Your dear Lizzy said “No” because she did not like you. So who had the most epic story?
Darcy (in a grumbling tone): I believe this conversation may require something stronger than tea (he stirs the tea by swirling his cup).
Wentworth (grinning broadly): Don’t fret. I believe that given what you have been able to read now about Lizzy’s journey to discovering her love for you, you must be very smug.
Darcy: Well, I am not going to argue about that. (snickering) It is truly a balm to one’s soul to discover that the woman you love struggled with how much she hates you while loving you.
Wentworth: I think that she is startlingly independent and was possibly as stubborn as you.
Darcy: Oh, definitely. I did not tease her as you did though.
Wentworth (slightly embarrassed): I did not tease Anne! How was I supposed to know that she still loved me? I was rejected!
Darcy (laughing): Oh, come now! You had to have known better. She said “No” to when she was very young, from a proud family.
Wentworth: What was I supposed to say? That I was carrying a torch? I have to have some self-respect.
Darcy (laughing even harder, slightly bending over in his chair): Seriously, I begged a woman to marry me. Then to hear me out. Then to marry me, for the second time! I think that if we were going to carry on as our wives are, I could make the argument for making the bigger fool of myself, which makes me the prince of the epic romance.
Wentworth (scowling): I am not sure how to argue that point without seeming foolish. I feel like I made enough of a fool of myself in my own mind, as well as in actions. At least you did not stoop to flirting with another woman.
Darcy (laughing and wincing all at once): No, I simply had to endure a woman I didn’t want flirting with me (takes a sip of tea) and the woman I loved disliking me with every breath.
Wentworth (now smiling smugly): Well, we could argue over who has the worst family ties when it comes to their wives.
Darcy (chuckling): Could you imagine if our wives were to overhear this conversation? I would fear for my safety, especially if it got back to their sisters.
Wentworth (wincing): Oh dear, that would be rather unfortunate I think. I would rather our wives argue with each other than us certainly.
Darcy: When it is all said and done, I believe that we will never fully understand women and how their minds work.
Wentworth: As long as we understand our wives, I think we might be relatively safe.
Two Stories, Two Perspectives
ReplyDeleteMrs. Bennet: Oh, what a lovely day it is!
Lady Russell: Indeed it is Mrs. Bennet!
Mrs. Bennet: You know, I have just chanced upon the greatest book in my dear Mr. Bennet’s library. The book goes by the name of Pride and Prejudice.
Lady Russell: Oh I think I have read that book before somewhere. It was not a bad book at all! However, have you heard of the book Persuasion? It is a fine book indeed!
Mrs. Bennet: Yes, yes, yes. I hear it is a fine story of one young lady to be married. However, in Pride and Prejudice, I had THREE daughters married all at once!
Lady Russell: Of course that is a wonderful. However let’s not forget that one of those daughters had quite the interesting elopement for some time.
Mrs. Bennet: Don’t speak of Lydia that way. George Wickham was a fine man who has been quite pleased with Lydia for some time now. My other two daughters are also as fine off. One of whom is married to a man with the fortune of FIVE thousand pounds a year! And my other daughter married a man with a fortune of TEN thousand pounds a year! What a lovely story it is.
Lady Russell: But it still seems like something of a strange match between George Wickham and Lydia. Neither of them seem at all happy.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh hush now. How can it be more strange than Louisa and Captain Benwick being together? If I can recall, they came together when Louisa was recovering after her poor fall. A strange way to fall in love.
Lady Russell: I should think not. It must be considered that this marriage left Captain Wentworth open to my dear Anne. In fact, Persuasion is far more unique of a book as it begins in the middle of Anne’s story. Much more interesting, is it not?
Mrs. Bennet: Oh but it is a much sadder story. Anne grew up without a mother and had a very unsupportive father.
Lady Russell: Not much worse than yourself. Perhaps it is better to have an unsupportive father than to have a father like Mr. Bennet, who has ‘no compassion for your poor nerves’.
Mrs. Bennet: Yet Pride and Prejudice itself was quite humorous outside of Mr. Bennet’s unkind comments. Persuasion on the other hand, is quite serious and dry, one quickly tires of it.
Lady Russell: Nonsense. Love is a serious matter and it must be described as such. Humor ought to have no presence in love.
Mrs. Bennet: Is that so?
Lady Russell: Yes indeed. However, have you considered your role in Elizabeth’s life in Pride and Prejudice? I believe you were about to disown her after she rejected Mr. Collins.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh please Lady Russell. Don’t mention that odious man. He could have had us right out of the house after Mr. Bennet passes. What a horrid thing to do! But it is now much better because I already have three children married well and out the house.
Lady Russell: But I seem to recall that you ordered her to marry him or you would never speak to her again, is that right?
Mrs. Bennet: Now, I think it was the right decision by my dear Elizabeth. She is married extremely well with Mr. Darcy.
Second half (couldn't fit it all into one comment):
ReplyDeleteMrs. Bennet: No, no, no. I can see that she was just saving up for Mr. Darcy. I just can’t believe she didn’t inform me of that relation with Mr. Darcy. It was a shock to my poor heart.
Lady Russell: That decision was perhaps as intelligent as my decision to move the Elliot family to Bath. After all, it was this move to Bath that made my Anne quite happily.
Mrs. Bennet: Yes that was a fine decision indeed. Perhaps Persuasion isn’t as bad as I thought it was. A fine book indeed!
Lady Russell: That it is. But your own story isn’t so terrible either, quite the interesting turn of events. Perhaps I will take another look into it. I should think all of this credit should go to Jane Austen. The finest author in history!
Mrs. Bennet: She was quite the lovely lady to create love stories such as these. A fine lady she was. Oh look at the time! I believe my presence is required at my abode now. I shall leave you to cherish this fine and lovely day we have. Goodbye.
Lady Russell: Take care Mrs. Bennet. I hope you can get your last two daughters married and out the house soon.
Chloe Hanrahan
ReplyDeleteSetting: Mr. Elliot sits in the town tavern drinking a beer. He has just finished Pride and Prejudice. It is a dark night. Elliot has began to get drunk. Enter Wentworth, he has escaped his torturous wife for a night and is in seek of comfort from another women for the night.
Elliot - Mr Wickham?
Wickham - Mr. Elliot! A pleasure to greet you today. How have you been? My wife and I just finished Persuasion. She enjoyed it, I would say. [W sits]
*flash back to Lydia talking on and on about how much she adores the book, Elliot is sitting in the front of the shot looking tired and trying to block out her words*
Elliot - She must be the only one. I would say your book [gesturing to it on the table] is a better read any day. [E pours W a chalese of beer]
Wickham - Mr. Elliot, I must disagree. That drivel is a pain to read. The storyline is clawingly annoying. Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s [air quotes] love story has confused me to no end. I truly once thought Lizzy and I would have a romance, but her turning on me so was horrid and so sudden. No development at t’all.
Elliot - But Mr. Wentworth, doesn’t the love story in my novel doesn’t show Wentworth stealing Anne from me? She and I had built a relationship, then Wentworth suddenly returns with money and Anne marries him!
Wickham - No sir! They fall back in love, it is beautiful to see the progression of their love story. It’s truly much fuller than the story of love in my novel. Besides Ms. Austen makes Lydia and I’s love story look disgusting and unnatural. She makes me out to be a bastard who’d rather marry women, with whom I hold no affection, than work to make my name. This t’is not be true. I am a gentleman and I treat my wife as such. I am not just in my marriage for money, if I was I would’ve pursued Ms. Charlotte.
Elliot - But sir… did you not?
Wickham - I have no recollection of pursuing her in any nature, but friendship. Besides I had no need to marry up like Elizabeth or Jane.
Elliot - Good sir, explain to me why it is bad to be looking to marry up? We do not blame women for their want to that. And yet when a man mentions such ambitions he is looked at as such scum. I concede I did want to marry Miss Elliot for a status increase, but may I ask what t’is be wrong with that? T’is the way of the world. Anne did indeed to such. She only married Wentworth once he had returned with fortune and a status in the world. Lydia and you also have a similar relationship, do you not? A relationship of love that started with a want of her fortune?
Wickham - How dare you curse my good name in such a way?
Elliot - Sir, I do not curse! I merely state as reading Pride and Prejudice, I see you runaway with a young lady who is much like her mother in terms of her nerves. And I would think you to marry one more like her older sisters, but you attach yourself to her for fortune!
Wickham - Sir, I promise you, I would not attach myself to such a family if it be not for love. That family is full of sarcastic, plague filled people. I wish nothing but to distance myself as far as I can from them.
Elliot - Well I can say my family is nothing like the Bennets. We are a serious group.
Wickham - Then you, sir, are a lucky man.
Elliot - True sir, for at least I did not spend time with a woman so bull headed like Elizabeth.
Wickham - Anne is truly the ideal woman, if she was prettier and not so faded.
Elliot - This is true. Anne is a wallflower and makes her man feel needed. Eliza is an opinionated girl and would never have married if it wasn’t for Darcy’s ability to succumb to love.
Wickham - Oh! But Elizabeth’s husband! That urchin Darcy. He is the most disagreeable man I have ever met. He firsts stops me from receiving my rightful fortune, and then steals Lizzy away from me for dark motives.
Elliot - But Darcy believed you to be of mal intent. That must warrant some understanding that he is a man of integrity.
Wickham - My friend I ask you don’t speak of someone so hurtful in such a way.
Elliot - My sincere apologies, friend.
*a moment of silence*
DeleteWickham - Well I liked Mr. Wentworth. A self made, military man like myself.
Elliot - Oh Mr. Wickham. Don’t compare yourself to such a man. You are finer man, whomst more entertaining to be around sir.
Wickham - Dear friend, I hope you can concede that Persuasion is a superior novel in every sense because of the good natured folk.
Elliot - Wickham as much as I’d like to agree because it would be a boost to my own pride, I must argue that Pride and Prejudice is superior. I understand you do not want a woman whomst is as independent as Mrs. Darcy, but she is still a highly educated smart woman. In addition, I truly see love between Darcy and her even with his faults. Sir I’d go as far to say this is Ms. Austen’s best work. And sir, I protest to say that you were addressed in anyway except the truth.
Wickham - Well sir [obviously offended], I will let you return to your reading. I have actual proper company to find.
Elliot - Your wife? [snarkly]
*Wickham walks away into what looks to be a brothel. Elliot continues his quest into alcoholism*
Hold on, are those directions concerning what Wickham does next school appropriate?
DeleteI'm just making sure we're all safe.
DeleteThis was the best I could come up with. Hope y'all enjoy
ReplyDelete[Intro Narrator] It was time for the monthly book club to meet in Bath, the very book club that Miss Anne Elliot frequents and partakes in discussion about various works of literature with. This month the members of this club were tasked to analyze two works of Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion, this meeting was special for the fact that both protagonists of the book were present. Luckily enough this very week that this meeting was taking place Elizabeth and Darcy were on a vacation to Bath and this book club caught Elizabeth's eye.
Elizabeth: Oh Mr. Darcy we just have to go it will be splendid!
Darcy: You can go, I have prior arrangements to go shooting with a Captain Wentworth.
Upon arriving, Elizabeth was greeted nearly insanted to Anne as she was nothing less than overjoyed to finally meet her.
Anne: Miss Elizabeth I presume? It’s a pleasure to meet you!
Elizabeth: The pleasure is all mine, I am a huge fan of your role in Persuasion and it’s pleasant to see you in person.
Standing up from their chair another frequent to the book club, Sir Owen Willem, speaks up
Owen: I found these novel unbearable to sit through! Not only did they not go anywhere I had lost my patience very quickly with both very quickly!
Anne: *Whispering to Elizabeth* Don’t mind him he does this all the time.
Elizabeth: *Chuckling while sitting down* Alright looks like things are off to an excitable start. Allow me to start this off by saying that these were quite enjoyable reads but I have to say, Persuasion was much better than Pride and Prejudice.
Anne: Nonsense! I believe the way that Pride and Prejudice deals with its story is much superior. The way you learn about each character indirectly through others interactions were quite intriguing indeed.
Elizabeth: Surely I can’t deny that was magnificently written, I still believe that Persuasion has a more silent way of portraying characters that help the reader learn about them and they awkward tension between you and Captain Wentworth spoke more than any letter could have.
Anne: Speaking of characters, what ever happened to that Mr. Collins fellow, he was quite character indeed.
Elizabeth: I thankfully haven’t heard from him in quite some time but judging from my father’s letters he still brags about Lady Catherine DeBourgh every chance he can get, I honestly feel bad that Charlotte has to put up with him on the daily.
Anne: At least she could just avoid him, their house is indeed large enough for that.
*They both chuckle for a bit before continuing*
Elizabeth: Anyhow I assume it’s safe to say that you married happily. Captain Wentworth seems like the most agreeable man indeed.
Anne: Sure he’s agreeable but I don’t feel like he could top what Mr. Darcy did for you and your family with the whole Wickham situation. Most gentlemanlike if I must say.
Elizabeth: Thanks, you are a very agreeable person I must say. We should grab tea sometime.
Anne: Yes that sounds most agreeable. We could invite Darcy and Wentworth too, maybe they’ll have some input on our debate.
Elizabeth: Oh my look at the time I promised Darcy that we’d depart at 5 but it is no more than quarter past that.
Anne: Oh. Sorry for keeping you.
Elizabeth: Oh don’t be it was the most pleasant of conversations. Time flew by in an instance.
Anne: For now we can come to the agreement that Pride and Prejudice is superior, right?
Elizabeth: Sure, for now. Next time we meet your opinion will be swayed. I won’t forget to write concerning our next meeting.
Anne: Same for me.
Owen: A-HA I just had a breakthrough idea for a tale that’ll convince kids to be thankful and jolly!
Both Anne and Elizabeth laugh as they walk out to meet Mr. Darcy and Captain Wentworth.
I've got a lot of ways to convince kids to be thankful and jolly. Which one are you referring to?
DeleteI was hinting that your character was going to write the Grinch book.
DeleteDr. Seuss already wrote a poem explaining How the Grinch Stole Christmas. (It was filmed for the third time.) Are you referring to my response up there?
DeleteYeah in my version of the world your character makes the original grinch that Dr.Suess later made popular.
DeleteDid I really? What else did I do?
DeleteDoes this also mean that Stephen King based Carrie on some article I wrote in the Necronomicon about the origins of the Allied Empress?
DeleteYes definitely
DeleteI like how you introduced real people into this
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteJust a heads up: these “[]” brackets are specific to Anne’s as they are her thoughts
ReplyDelete*Lizzy and Anne both lay asleep in a strange place, unknown to either of them. Specifically, they are on a large rock platform elevated hundreds of feet in the air with no way down*
*Lizzy awakes first*
Lizzy: Ugh… where am I? This place doesn’t look like Longbourn. Huh? Who’s that? Wait, is that…? *She looks at Anne’s now-waking body*
Anne: *groggily* Irk, where am I? This is very peculiar. I was just asleep in my bed and then… *She sees Lizzy sitting quietly* Oh, hello! Do you happen to know where we are?
Lizzy: *snarkily* It isn’t Somersetshire, if that’s what you are puzzled about.
Anne: Well, I could tell that but… my word! How did you know… *She stumbles with her words, puzzled as to how this mysterious woman could know her place of residence*
Lizzy: I could not quite put my finger on your identity at first, but I have gathered enough intel to decipher who you were. And I finally found it out, Miss Anne Elliot of Somersetshire! *She points her finger straight at Anne’s pale and startled face* I’ve read the book in which you’re the star of (as well as your family). And like the stench of fresh undead blood, it is atrocious! I find it an insult to the word “literature!”
Anne: Well! Those aren’t very kind words, indeed. And to be brutally honest, I wouldn’t expect kind words to come from an emotionless killer like yourself, Miss Elizabeth Bennett of the now undead infested Longbourn!
Lizzy: *angrily grunts* How dare you…! *She reaches for her knives attached to her stockings, only to find they’re missing. She checks her entire body and finds that all her weapons are gone.* W-what?
Anne: My point has been proven. Oh and might I add: your book wasn’t very good. The original was by FAR superior. Yours was too violent and action centric, to the point of it being comical! How could I take you seriously when you’re a carbon copy of the real Lizzy, just with some weapons, bloody clothes and a bad attitude? [Hmph! That should set her off.]
Lizzy: *she angrily snaps back* Oh! *gritting her teeth* Don’t you dare bring *HER* into this! I don’t even want to think about her. I’m clearly superior to that Lizzy! Just like my novel is superior to yours.
Anne: Oh, you believe your… “novel” is better than mine?
Lizzy: Yes, of course! After all, I wasn’t the one who was persuaded not to marry my love interest.
Anne: Well, at least one of my sisters wasn’t kidnapped and almost turned into one of… them! [This debate seems to be in my favor!] *She smirks*
Lizzy: Oh, please. I’m very much over that. And honestly, with how much time you spend cooped up in your own head, I would think you’d AT LEAST be able to think up some better points. *Lizzy laughs*
Anne: *She gasps at Lizzy’s point, but composes herself quickly* Well… I do admit I spend quite a bit of time in my thoughts nowadays… and you know, you’re showing a lot of emotion, I’ve noticed. FAR more emotion than your husband ever shows! *Anne laughs at Lizzy’s now furious face*
Lizzy: Oh that is it! I’ve had enough of this banter! I’ll show what my Chinese martial arts has to say about your novel! *She runs at Anne*
*Anne braces herself for Lizzy’s incoming attack, but Lizzy stops short. The sound of loud, echoey and female laughter can be heard*
Lizzy: *very puzzled* What in the…?
Anne: *She says smugly* Hmph. I figured you wouldn’t know what that was.
*They both look to the sky*
Anne: That’s the The Author. She’s the one who put us here. She seems to be enjoying our banter…
END.
Charles Bingley and Anne Elliot:
ReplyDelete**Anne and Mr. Bingley see each other on the street and say hello
Bingley- Good day Miss Elliot, how are you on this fine evening!
Anne- I am very fine, thank you, how are you!
Bingley- I am grand! I wanted to congratulate you on your engagement to Captain Frederick Wentworth, what a fine match! Your relationship reminds me of the love I share with my dear Jane and I am sure that you are living a charming and exciting life with Wentworth.
Anne- Thank you for your kindness. I am enjoying myself very much, I love getting to sail around the world, I am very happy to be out of the house and doing something exciting. Jane is doing well?
Bingley- Yes, very well indeed, and even though she is not sailing like you, she loves tending to the garden, planning balls, and embroidering on top of many other things.
Anne-That is a joy.
Bingley- Might I bring up that I read the novel that you were in the other day and I have to say that it was a very pleasant read.
Anne- I am very glad that you enjoyed it. It was not as popular as the book you were in however, I have to say “Pride and Prejudice” was a delight.
Bingley- Oh yes, but I just loved “Persuasion”, I actually liked it better than “Pride and Prejudice” because it was a little more mature. There was less humor than “Pride and Prejudice” but in place of this wit was intelligent dialogue which I think makes for a better book, especially for cultivated adults like us.
Anne- I appreciate your affection for the book but I loved “Pride and Prejudice” just as much, if not more. The book displayed your agreeable character very well, you are such a kind man. I also enjoyed how your book was full of surprises. For instance, I had no idea that Mr. Wickham would turn out to be such a ruthless and selfish character. “Pride and Prejudice” seemed to be a more exciting book in that way.
Bingley- But Persuasion had that excitement as well! When Louisa fell and became unconscious, who was to expect that?
Anne- Yes I agree with you on that, but after Louisa’s incident there wasn’t much in the way of surprise beyond that. In “Pride and Prejudice”, Elizabeth must figure out which man is more truthful, there is the proposal, the letter from Mr. Darcy, and of course Darcy being the one who convinced Wickham to marry Lydia, and all the drama surrounding the two of them. All very exciting events and then on top of all this, you have the spectacle of Lady Catherine De Bourgh. I found it all so intriguing!
Bingley- You are correct, but do not discredit your own book, happiness spread over my face, as I am sure it did for every reader, when Wentworth left the letter for you on that table which expressed his feelings.
Anne- Mr. Bingley, you can’t possibly be saying that “Pride and Prejudice” is without romance!
Bingley- Well I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on which book is better.
(2nd part of my dialogue):
ReplyDelete**just then Darcy walks by
Bingley- Hello Darcy!
Darcy- Hello Mr. Bingley. Anne Elliot, how are you?
Anne- Very good, thank you!
Bingley- I was just talking to Anne Elliot about how “Persuasion” is a true work of art and, in my opinion is a better read that “Pride and Prejudice”, don’t you agree?
Darcy- Oh I would have to disagree with you rather strongly. If I must say “Persuasion” was a boring read for me, there was no humor and Captain Wentworth was a bad man for having eyes for other ladies and then quickly changing to only having eyes for Anne. Not to say that you are in a bad marriage Anne, but if you truly love someone you fight only for them.
Anne- I see your point Mr. Darcy but I must let you know that me and Captain Wentworth are truly in love and it helps to see the progression of our relationship in “Persuasion”. It isn’t like in “Pride and Prejudice” where Elizabeth and you quickly get into a marriage without fully knowing the other person’s character. Wentworth and I actually knew each other before the book took place and had many conversations together and we both fully knew the other to realize that we were meant to be. I am sure Elizabeth and you have gotten to know each other more now, but in “Pride and Prejudice” it seemed to me that almost all of your conversations were filled with tension.
Bingley- (**cutting Darcy off from responding) Oh it is great to see you two have such lengthy conversation, but I must say it is getting late and Darcy and I better get home for dinner! Anne it is always a pleasure to see you and might I invite you to tea with Jane and I tomorrow afternoon? It seems we hardly ever get to see each other.
Anne- yes I would like that very much, have a nice day gentlemen.
**everyone departs and heads home
Mr. Collins vs Mary Musgrove
ReplyDeleteMary: Why hello, Mr. Collins! I am so gracious that you made a trip way all the way from-
Mr. Collins: Rosings Park, of course! Home of the Lady Catherine de Bourgh, my esteemed-
Mary: Your esteemed patroness! In which you drabble on about for much of Miss Austen’s novel, I have noticed.
Mr. Collins: That clueless girl did not even need to enhance my talk of the lovely Lady de Bourgh, for I am always paying my gratitude to her patroness… How are you feeling, Mrs. Musgrove? I took notice that you often commented on your most unfortunate illness.
Mary: Quite alright, I suppose. Slightly ill, however, I believe Mrs. Austen may have exaggerated my illness as an effect of some sort...
Mr. Collins: Perhaps she aimed for a comedic to-
Mary: Comedic? My, oh my! Mr. Collins! I would be ever so offended if Miss Austen were to illustrate me as exuberant as Mrs. Bennet! Me? Comedic in such a way? I would never! What in the world could bring you to that resolution?
Mr. Collins: Oh, my dear, do not shed a single worry on that, even Mr. Bennet would agree that there is no person as hysterical as his wife.
Mary: Thank the heavens you do not view me in that light. I would hate to have seemed that way to someone with particular connections, like yourself.
Mr. Collins: I did take notice, in Persuasion of course, about your family’s particular, poor circumstances.
Mary: Oh, yes! However, I would not go as far as to say that the circumstances were poor. Rather, unfortunate situations for my sisters. Although, I must say, it is not at all surprising that out of my three sisters, I happened to marry first.
Mr. Collins: Does your husband spend much of his time away from your abode? In most every scene he seemed to be away, taking part in such simple leisure activities.
Mary: Why yes indeed, perhaps he does. Your wife seems to keep her distance in your own abode I have noticed as well.
Mr. Collins: Yes, after reading both novels I have come to that realization. In my opinion, Miss Austen did not have the correct perspective to write the story in. If she had interviewed me, perhaps she would understand that my wife, Charlotte, loves me very much, and does not purposefully evade me. She must have created correlation that never occured.
Mary: There is most definitely no correlation on such matters! Perhaps just the circumstances at the time.
(Anne stood in the doorway, listening in on the conversation. Neither of them realized she was there)
Anne: Oh, no correlation at all, my dear sister. (Anne smirks and exits)
Mr. Collins: From reading Miss Austen’s novel, you must have picked up my relation to the Bennet family… of course, along with my personal relationship with Lady Ca-
Mary: Of course, yes! Perhaps even more relation if Elizabeth agreed to marriage. That poor girl came too close for comfort with Anne’s predicament. She should have agreed to marriage immediately for her family's security.
Mr. Collins: Oh, do not remind me. That was an ever so heartbreaking experience that I do not wish to relive, at least now that I have a wife of my own and my esteemed position for Lady Ca-
Mary: The Bennets had a very similar situation as my family did before we aged.
Mr. Collins: Oh yes, if Elizabeth had not married Mr. Darcy after rejecting me, I am sure she would be in the same predicament as your sister…. Excuse me dearly, but what is her name?
DeleteMary: Anne!
Mr. Collins: My apologies for forgetting the poor girl’s name! She was barely mentioned in Persuasion, it is hard to believe that she was the main character. In my humble opinion, you were the main character, Mrs. Musgrove. Perhaps Mr. Elliot, as well, could be considered a main character-
Mary: Why, thank you Mr. Collins! I believe you were the main character of Pride and Prejudice-
Mr. Collins: Oh, heavens no, I was not. The main character was most obviously Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Do you have any sense of her essential role in the events of the novel?
Mary: I apologize for my mistake!
Mr. Collins: No worries! You are obviously still ill and need some rest-
Mary: I am perfectly fine indeed! Please stay, I have many more opinions on the novels that I would be delighted to discuss with you.
Mr. Collins: Might I ask, which do you believe was the superior novel?
Mary: Persuasion, of course!
Mr. Collins: How incorrect you are! You are most definitely still ill, because Pride and Prejudice is the obviously superior novel. Not only because of my patroness’ presence, but the love story is interesting and complex.
Mary: (In a distressed manner) I might have to disagree with you, for Persuasion highlighted the terrible situation my family became stranded in and how Anne managed to escape her fate.
Mr. Collins: However, the story was incredibly slow paced for a shortened novel!
Mary: I could say the same for Pride and Prejudice! There was an excessive amount of dialogue, I could hardly figure out who was speaking at any given moment!
Mr. Collins: While Persuasion was lacking captivating dialogue! For you were missing characters such as myself and Lady Catherine to supply the appealing discussions.
Mary: I politely disagree, for the descriptions did the novel more justice than any description from Pride and Prejudice could achieve.
Mr. Collins: Persuasion took almost two hundred pages for two people to tell them they love each other. I might go as far to say that I had lost my patience! Pride and Prejudice took a sufficient number of pages to explain the complexities of their love and how it came to be. In addition it highlighted the wealthier class, and their advanced style of living.
Mary: Your patience, Mr. Collins, if I heard you correctly?
Mr. Collins: My patience, indeed, Mrs. Musgrove.
Mary: Oh! I am suddenly feeling ill once again. I believe you must leave Mr. Collins, because anyone who would think that Persuasion is not the superior work of Miss Austen is not welcome in my abode!
Lizzy: If I may, I wish to inquire about your family’s good health? I hear you had to rent out your home to pay a little debt.
ReplyDeleteAnne: Ah, it’s nothing, we just need my father Sir Walter Elliot to limit spending our little reserves of money. Truly, a little frugality can’t hurt?
Lizzy: Yes, that’s true, however, do you truly believe that merely informing of his ill habits are hurting your family? I’m sure he cares about you.
Anne: Yes he does care, it is merely an ill habit.
Lizzy: Surely you must believe that your story must have significant flaws do you not?!
[Darcy and Wentworth are together having lunch at Pemberley]
ReplyDeleteDarcy: The weather is quite pleasing today. Shall we swim in the lake later?
Wentworth: Indeed it is but I must pass. I am almost finished with reading the new novel
Persuasion by Miss Austen. I am at the part where Anne and I become engaged.
Darcy: Ah yes, I have also read that book but is pales in comparison so some of her earlier works like Pride and Prejudice.
Wentworth: Pride and Prejudice? Better than Persuasion? You surely must be mistaken.
Darcy: No, I am quite sincere. The book was far too similar to Pride and Prejudice. They both are about families struggling with financial issues and trying to find a match for their daughters.
Wentworth: They are minor similarities. Persuasion takes place in completely different places such as Bath and the financial situation is different. Mr.Elliot was struggling with debt rather than an inheritance. The idea of writing about status and class with women is a newly tapped topic. I don’t feel that it is wrong to write another. I find them quite a treat to read.
Darcy: Persuasion is far to dreary even for me. Why would anyone want to read about some poor girl falling down the stairs and a atrocious man even more selfish than Wickham? It was too serious of a take on a romance novel.
Wentworth: Stop reminding me of that terrible accident. It was much more than that and it was made for a mature audience. I’m sure you would agree.
Darcy: Yes, compared to the silly girls that attended the ball at Netherfield Park hosted by my dear friend Mr.Bingley, it is.
Wentworth: Speaking of which, all of those lovely ladies and you couldn’t get one to willingly dance with you.
Darcy: Please, I hold myself to a greater standard than that. Elizabeth is the only one worthy of my attention. She is strong, witty, and doesn’t care for my income of £10,000. She is unlike any lady that I have seen before. She makes Pride and Prejudice even more agreeable.
Wentworth: You description should very similar to Anne. She is the most attractive and confident person I know. Oh, are you referring to the girl that rejected your marriage proposal and told you that you are a terrible man?
Darcy: At least I took short of a year to develop the relationship. I remember someone took 8 just waiting around.
Wentworth: Good things take time to develop. Anne and I both loved each other. It was Lady Russell who separated us. We both knew deep inside that we would meet each other again someday.
Darcy: I must admit, the development of your relationship was quite touching but it was too obvious. Anyone with half a brain would have known that you two would have ended together.
Wentworth: And Pride and Prejudice was just the opposite. The side stories with Jane and Bingley along with Lydia and Wickham made it a total mess. So much was happening at once.
Darcy: Better than nothing happening at all for a good portion of Persuasion.
Wentworth: If I didn’t know better I would have called you a simpleton. Every chapter is essential to character and story development.
Darcy: Would you honestly claim that Persuasion is perfect?
Wentworth: No, while Persuasion is not perfected, Pride and Prejudice is overrated. It's only because it is typically the first novel by Jane Austen that makes people feel that it is better.
Darcy: I cannot agree with that. Pride and Prejudice deserves every bit of praise it gets.
Wentworth: How about we ask the girls what they feel to settle this dispute?
Darcy: Very well.
[Later]
Elizabeth: Most certainly Pride and Prejudice.
Anne: No way, Persuasion is far superior.
[End]
Darcy: Evening Cap’n Wentworth
ReplyDeleteCap’n Wentworth: Ah Mr. Darcy, just the man I wanted to see. Have you read my book, Persuasion?
Darcy: I have, I actually wanted to talk to you about it. You see, I believe my book to be much more interesting.
W: Oh is that the case?
D: It is indeed!
W: Well why is that?
D: First, your book is much too short. My novel, Pride and Prejudice, is much longer and far more enjoyable because of it. Besides, Lady Catherine De Berg has more power than Lady Russell can ever dream of.
W: Yes well I tend to agree with you there, Lady Russell did initially tell my wife, Anne, not to marry me. Although she did give us her blessing once she discovered my new wealth. But didn’t Lady Catherine Du Berg constantly advise you not to marry your Elizabeth?
D:Indeed she did, but nonetheless she must be respected. But you must agree that your book had a more melancholy tone.
W: Ah but was it really? It only appeared melancholy because it was the story of two long lost lovers. Yours on the other hand was a story of new love, so it had a more glamorous tone. But I assure you that if you ignore the initial remarks, it truly is a beautiful happy love story. I win Anne over with letters just like you did with Elizabeth. Is that not something to be prideful about?
D: Ha Ha ha, I see what you did there. And yes I agree it is something to take pride in. But instead of arguing, can we talk about the similarities between Wickham and William.
W: I must agree! They are shocking. William seemed to be interested in everyone just like Wickham. At least he didn’t try to elope my dear Anne!
D: Yes that would be bad indeed.
W: Could you imagine how much that would ruin her name? Then Lady Russell might be the one advising ME not to marry her.
D: Can we talk about how this writer, Jane Austen, seems to have the same story each time? There are many parallels between our books. An example of this is shown when Louisa has a fall and it forces you and therefor Anne to stay with her. This is exactly like Jane Bennet staying at Netherfield because she got a cold.
W: You’re right! Ms. Austen seems to enjoy writing precarious situations that force us into situations with our love interests.
D: So can we agree that our books are indeed quite similar and therefor we are not partial to either of them?
W: Indeed we can good sir. I hope you have a good evening.
D: Likewise Cap’n Wentworth
I really like this one!
DeleteMr. Bennet and Sir Walter
ReplyDelete**They are sitting down to chat over tea.
Mr. Bennet: Goodday Sir Walter, I am pleased to meet with you over tea today
Sir Walter: As am I. It is great fun to spend time with those whose rank and character are worthy of my presence, which are quite difficult to find.
Mr Bennet: Oh yes I imagine it must be the quite formidable task.
Sir Walter: It is so pleasing to have finally found another who understands things such as this. So many simply are of too low a rank to be able to comprehend it.
Mr. Bennet: No one must understand all the complexities of which you speak.
Sir Walter: Why yes! You are completely correct! In fact, now that your opinions seem to deserve some respect, I recently decided to read a book entitled Persuasion written by Jane Austen.
Mr. Bennet: I must say I am surprised you chose to pick up a book other than the Barontage
Sir Walter: It is not a secret that my prefered reading material is the Barontage, however I happened to pick up this novel and I must express my pleasure
Mr. Bennet: I have also read that book of which you speak, yet I personally must claim preference to an earlier work of Ms. Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Sir Walter: I am familiar with that novel as well and I must say that Persuasion is superior
Mr. Bennet: While both do involve issues related to social mobility and class rigidity, Austen’s earlier work is considerably less dull and far more entertaining to read, also containing much humor.
Sir Walter: You are wrong! Persuasion speaks of a serious topic, love, which must be addressed in a serious format, yet it is not dull. Additionally, how is it possible that you found Louisa's fall dull? She could have died! How could you have found me to be dull as well?
Mr. Bennet: I found the characters to be rather melodramatic, and while there were some subtle nuances which could be appreciated, that novel is simply tiresome.
Sir Walter (scoffs, looking insulted): Furthermore, in Persuasion, Austen was able to capture the high rank and large wealth of my great family.
DeleteMr. Bennet: Oh was she? I find that intriguing given you felt it necessary to move to Bath since you were lacking wealth, having spent it all.
Sir Walter (knocks over his tea in shock of that statement): How dare you insult me? I am a baronet! … (pauses briefly)... Again on the topic of the books, your prefered reading made it seem as if love makes social mobility possible and with few hardships. This is encouraging those of lower, undeserving ranks so unlike mine, to feel as though they can be equal to be with a marriage into my social standing.
Mr. Bennet: In Pride and Prejudice, the strong love between my daughter Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy as well as the love between another of my daughters, Jane, and Mr. Bingley, allowed for them to overcome a class difference and lack of connections in order to be happy. As long as my daughters are happy in their marriages, I have no issue with the difference in social class.
Sir Walter: Well… you are not the respectable gentleman I believed you to be. I guess that is to be expected with the actions of your foolish daughter Lydia. Her elopement with that dreadful Mr. Wickham should have ruined the standing of your family. Your other daughter Elizabeth is also unpleasant, far too focused on reading rather that her place in society and social events.
Mr. Bennet: On the contrary, my daughter Elizabeth is a very smart, clever girl who can act in a very pleasant manner in social situations. Your daughter Elizabeth, however, is much too focused on beauty, marriage, and gossiping with her beloved friend Mrs. Clay. Although I do like your daughter Anne, who seems to be much like my dear Lizzy, despite her exhausted, perhaps undead, appearance at times.
Sir Walter: Ugh (scoffing)... My daughter Anne deserves no praise. She should have never been the focus of a novel, rather I, or my lovely daughter Elizabeth, should have been. Anne did not deserve to marry that military man, Captain Wentworth, who is in possession of a good fortune.
Mr. Bennet: Personally, I believe that Mr. Darcy is superior to Captain Wentworth
Sir Walter: With regards to that, I do agree with you and Darcy does have such a great wealth, making him quite the gentleman.
Mr. Bennet: Darcy is a good man and he has been good to my daughter. Unlike Wentworth, he did not lead another woman around in her presence to evoke feelings of jealousy. Darcy also is close friends with Mr. Bingley, a nice man also of good fortune, and has a delightfully sharp sister who he loves dearly and protects from terrible people like Mr. Wickham.
Sir Walter: Mr. Wickham is an egregious man, similar to that lowlife Mr. Elliot who rejected my lovely eldest daughter and then attempted to use Anne to gain access to my title, although I cannot see why he chose her.
Mr. Bennet: I must ask, do you still believe that Persuasion is superior to Pride and Prejudice?
Sir Walter: I suppose that there are aspects of Pride and Prejudice which are nice, but I still prefer Persuasion… (mutters: “since I am in it”).
Mr. Bennet: Very well then, perhaps we should ask our daughters about their feelings on the matter.
Sir Walter: I suppose we should.
I like this one but it was left on a cliffhanger!
DeleteScene opens with Anne Wentworth sitting at a small table. A white tablecloth is set with a porcelain tea set, decorated with pink accents. Anne sips a bit of tea when a loud creak from a nearby door opening is heard. Elizabeth Darcy walks in, a slight blush formed upon her cheeks and a droplet of sweat on her temple. Her petticoat is an absolute disaster, covered in mud at least 6 inches up. She smiles and takes a seat across from Anne, then pours some tea into her teacup. After adding sugar, she sighs and begins.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth: Good evening Mrs. Wentworth. I apologize for the delay, I decided to walk here. A lovely day, it is.
Anne: Oh my, please, call me Anne. You walked here? It is quite a distance, is it not?
Elizabeth: It is but 3 miles. But I fancy the rocks and mountains quite invigorating, and I enjoy the scenery in Derbyshire. Have you found the country well? The seas must be different in comparison.
Anne: Why, I am very pleased with Derbyshire. The hills are as endless as the seas, and hide just as many secrets. I love the sea, but there is nothing like setting your feet on land, and lying on the grass.
Elizabeth: Truly? I find the sea a bit fascinating, though I do adore Derbyshire and Pemberley. There truly is no estate quite like it.
Silence falls on the conversation, and Elizabeth coughs before beginning once more.
Elizabeth: Shall we begin? I have much to say, after all.
Anne: Yes, of course, I find the subject to be something I am a bit passionate about.
Elizabeth: Well, I will begin with this. I believe Persuasion to be Ms. Austen’s better work, especially in comparison to Pride and Prejudice.
Anne: There we differ, Mrs. Darcy. I think Pride and Prejudice has no deficiency. Persuasion, I find, has some flaws.
Elizabeth: Persuasion is an incredible work, taking in the fact that Ms. Austen was nearly on her deathbed writing it. And you, as a character, is near flawless.
Anne: Yet I find that Pride and Prejudice is a more robust novel. The plot develops much better and is more real in comparison. Your character in the novel is strong, steadfast, and unafraid. My character is the namesake of the book. My easily persuaded self infuriates, rather than entertains. Your character is entertaining and meaningful even when you are prejudice towards some.
Elizabeth: You, however, are older and wiser. You know your love is true. Your love was fed even as you were away from Captain Wentworth for years. You both loved each other in that duration. It has stood the test of time. If your love is fine, healthy, and stout, it can only grow larger. And my character has fault as well. My prejudice led me toward unsavory characters like Mr. Wickham, and away from Mr. Darcy.
Anne: Your love also went through hardship. You were separated from Mr. Darcy for many periods, and still you came together. Mr. Darcy was willing to prove his love to you time and time again, because of the person you are. He continued to love you even when you claimed “You could not have made the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it.” The strength of love to withstand such unrequite is no small force. Mr. Darcy had flaws as well, and your flaw and that realization that you were flawed brought you together. Your flaw did not set you apart from each other, as mine did from Captain Wentworth.
Elizabeth: You were steadfast as well, were you not? When Captain Wentworth remarked “You were so altered he should not have known you again.” You still stood back up, and continued with life. Not only that, but you knew deep inside of your sorrow. You felt “They were of sobering tendency; they allayed agitation; they composed, and consequently must make her happier.” Your words, that they “must” make you happier is phenomenal. Your determination and melancholy are wrapped into one simple sentence. It is a brilliant phrase from a brilliant character.
Anne: Your character is one that stands strong. Your wit and humor is evident in the first few chapters, in a humorous claim that “There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!” But your intelligence is deeper, for you then know to respond “Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.” To know so much of love without having any prior suitors is true brilliance.
DeleteElizabeth: I am flattered by your claims, but your character is still more fine. In comparison to Henrietta or Louisa, it is universally acknowledged how you are more esteemed. Both girls deeply admired Captain Wentworth at first acquaintance. Henrietta, however, was very likely to be soon engaged. And Louisa soon forgot Captain Wentworth after spending time with Captain Benwick and was engaged to him. Both are more frivolous and shallow in their admirations, while for years “No one had ever come within the Kellynch circle, who could bear a comparison with Frederick Wentworth, as he stood in her memory.” No one could deter you nor your memory from him.
Anne: I suppose we never shall prove whose character or love has more merit. But I can assure that Pride and Prejudice still holds a higher rank. It has more conflicts, and more risks. Much pride should be held by Mr. Darcy, as he stood by you even as your sister Lydia’s dignity was compromised. Such a situation to befall you and he still wishes to marry you is no easy feat. And all the comments your mother made such as “What is Mr. Darcy to me, pray, that I should be afraid of him? I am sure we owe him no such particular civility as to be obliged to say nothing he may not like to hear.” With respect, such a statement is quite impolite and a man of his status could easily condemn and hold only contempt towards you for it. But instead he finds fault in himself, for not being “gentlemanlike.” He changes and proves himself a worthy man.
Elizabeth: I love Mr. Darcy, but that does not discredit Captain Wentworth. Captain Wentworth loved you all this time, and was willing to withhold himself if it meant you would be happier with Mr. Elliot, your cousin. Quite a coincidence that we have both been offered marriage by our cousins, is it not? I find that amusing.
Anne: Yes, it is curious. What I find most amusing, however, is Lady Catherine De Bourgh, and her influence on your relations with Mr. Darcy. She actually came to your estate and attempted to gain your promise in never marrying Mr. Darcy, when it was in fact that action that pushed you and Mr. Darcy together in requite. The irony is laughable.
Elizabeth: Yes, indeed. But I found your father’s abundance of--
A loud banging on the door is heard. Both women turn to see Elizabeth Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam Darcy standing. Elizabeth is holding a miaodao, while the Colonel Darcy holds a flintlock in his right and an axe in his left. Both are covered in dirt and their clothes are in tatters.
Elizabeth (Z): You must leave now. There is a zombie outbreak near Pemberley, the only safe place is Rosings Park now.
Elizabeth: Pardon me? A zombie outbreak? Why, I cannot leave for any reason until I convince Mrs. Wentworth that Persuasion is a more remarkable novel than Pride and Prejudice.
Elizabeth (Z): Well, it is a truth universally acknowledged that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is actually the finest novel of them all.
Elizabeth (Z): Well, it is a truth universally acknowledged that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is actually the finest novel of them all.
DeleteAnne: I disagree. I find Pride and Prejudice, without the zombie, to be more pleasant. There is no need for all the sword fighting, there are already enough conflicts in the novel as is. Tensions need not be heightened by the want for brains.
Elizabeth sheathes her miaodao and hurries to the table, pulling a chair over from nearby. Colonel Darcy sighs, and leaves. The closing door shows a large horde of zombies incoming and his axe sweeping up and decapitating a zombie.
Elizabeth (Z): Pride and Prejudice and Zombies gives the girls much more sustenance. They are no longer frivolous sisters, they are warriors.
Elizabeth: And yet Lydia is still a fool in both novels.
Elizabeth (Z): An unfortunately candid statement.
Anne: At least your sister finds herself married. Even if to a wicked man, a married woman has more status than unmarried. I had known that truth for many years until Captain Wentworth came back into my life.
Elizabeth: Yes, but she’s married to a deceitful man who has no good intentions. And your other sister is married to an amazing man. Charles Musgrove is undoubtedly the best alternate suitor to have. All I had was Wickham, and then he took to my sister.
Anne: And Charles took to mine. All’s fair in love and war.
Elizabeth (Z): That’s true. Zombies have no morals, even in war.
Both turn to look at her questionably.
Elizabeth: Well, now that we have touched upon some positives, I will say my only grievances with Persuasion. The most prominent issue is with the speed of the novel. The development of the story is underdone. And there is no outer conflicts other than that of Anne’s. You might consider Louisa’s fall to be one, and the subsequent falling in love with Captain Benwick, but even Captain Harville agrees that it all happened so fast.
Anne: I do understand. And yet, I find no fault in Pride and Prejudice. Not one. Which means that Pride and Prejudice conquers, does it not?
Elizabeth: I will not stand down. I still believe Persuasion, despite the faults, is still better.
Elizabeth (Z): And I still think Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is best, but it seems that an answer will never be agreed upon. Can we call this a truce and evacuate now? I do hope my husband has not died in all this commotion.
Anne: I can agree to disagree.
Elizabeth: Myself as well.
Elizabeth (Z): Wonderful. Now let us go. And do try not to die by zombie, because then I would have to kill you.
Scene ends with women opening the door to a scene of various zombies. Colonel Darcy is hacking at a corpse with the axe, and Jane can be seen in the background throwing knives at zombies.
Jane Austen: Aaaaand cut, we’re done! Wonderful performance ladies, let’s take 5 before we roll the next scene.
Elizabeth: Thank you, Ms. Austen. But I do have to ask, which novel is better? Pride and Prejudice or Persuasion?
Anne: Yes, this debate needs to be settled.
Jane Austen: What does it matter? My favorite is still Emma.
Persuasion vs. Pride and Prejudice
ReplyDelete**They are taking a walk around the Rosings.
Elizabeth: How are you doing this afternoon?
Anne: Oh I am doing quite well Elizabeth, I hope you the same.
Elizabeth: Yes indeed I am doing fine. Would you like to go inside and have some tea?
Anne: Oh that sounds lovely!
**Sitting in the main parlor sipping tea.
Anne: (Picks up Pride and Prejudice) Oh what is this?
Elizabeth: My all time favorite novel, Pride and Prejudice. It is Jane Austen’s most well written piece of literature.
Anne: Hmm Elizabeth, I think you may be overemphasizing. Perhaps you haven’t read Persuasion.
Elizabeth: Oh in fact I have read that novel, it is indeed a fine book, but it doesn’t quite capture all the aspects Pride and Prejudice does.
Anne: And what do you exactly mean by that.
Elizabeth: In actuality both novels do revolve around wealth, status and class distinction, but persuasion is just missing that little thrill and humor that Pride and Prejudice fulfills.
Anne: I think you are thoroughly mistaken my friend, Persuasion does in fact use some humor, but displays it in a more mature way than Pride and Prejudice does so not many people would fathom it.
Elizabeth: I am certain that more people would like to read a book that requires hilarity rather than melancholy.
Anne: I’d like to argue that Persuasion was not entirely sorrowful, it just bestowed more seriousness.
Elizabeth: I suppose so, but what about the excitement that took place in the novels? Pride and Prejudice really portrayed that when Lydia went running off with that so called scoundrel, Mr. Wickham. I didn’t see much action taken place in Persuasion.
Anne: I am most definitely refuting against that. Do you recall when Louisa was being foolish and fell...she became unconscious and everyone was panicking!
Elizabeth: It might have gotten riveting a few times in the novel, but other than there was not an interesting and continuous conflict throughout the novel. In Pride and Prejudice there was always something going on between Darcy and I. Before my beloved and I got engaged their would be captivating arguments between us, and let us not forget when I was imprudent enough to turn down his engagement! That is what I call an engaging novel.
Anne: You are certainly not the only that had a conflict with a loved one. In Persuasion Captain Wentworth and I were not in speaking terms for quite awhile. I turned down his engagement even though I truly loved him and did not see him until a few years after where he astonishingly returned to town.
Elizabeth: Well..(Captain Wentworth and Darcy enter the parlor mistakenly interrupting Elizabeth.)
Captain Wentworth: Good afternoon to you both. Did we unwittingly interrupt your conversation?
Elizabeth: Oh no, we were just discussing how much of a great novel Pride and Prejudice is.
Darcy: Oh how I enjoy that fine piece of literature!
Captain Wentworth: Indeed it is a compelling novel.
**Anne stares blankly at Elizabeth quite exasperated and confused at the same time.
Captain Wentworth: Are you alright my dear ? You look a bit ill.
Anne: Oh won’t you see the time, we should be heading home now, dinner will be ready soon.
Elizabeth: Well it was finally nice meeting your acquaintance, I hope to continue this conversation the next time.
Anne: Oh don’t worry we will indisputably be conversing about this the next time.
**Anne and Wentworth head out of the Rosings.
Captain Wentworth: Now I must speak for myself, but I disagree. I believe the strength of a man is measured in his ability to express his feelings openly through words (especially to ones he loves.) I wrote a love letter to Anne -that was featured in Persuasion- in the aim of professing my feelings for her. I decided that, I had contained my feelings long enough and confessed openly to her, “I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever”(177). In this letter, my feelings for Anne became clear to her and she proved her feelings to be mutual when she consented to be my wife.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Bennet: Why a letter! Pride and Prejudice included a quite protracted one from Darcy in response to Elizabeth’s refusal of marriage. In it, he defended his honor and confided in her his faults and regrets of the past. I dare say a man requires more courage to confess his faults that to confess his admirations.
Capt. Wentworth: The confessing of true feelings is the intended theme of Persuasion. The reason behind the word Persuasion as the designated title, is meant to remind people that when others succeed in persuading you to do things, the result is only regret and false happiness. The bravery of Anne to face her true feelings in an environment so toxic as her disconfirming family is the intended apotheosis of this novel: you musn’t concede to people persuading you to do things you are not passionate about, because it will ensure that you will be left to suffer the illness of the decision alone.
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ReplyDeleteElizabeth :Greeting Mary it is a great pleasure to meet you and I want to express my gratitude for joining me to have this little discussion.
ReplyDeleteMary: Well I am not a person to sit around and stay in the house although I am quite ill as of now but the only other thing to do at the house as of right now is to nurse the injured boy but I have left the pain of doing such to Anne someone you are not acquainted with but maybe that is for the best for she is quite a bore! She doesn’t care much for coming out the house.
Elizabeth: I for one can sympathize with not wishing to coming out the house considering the current outbreak but that is aside from the reason I have summoned you here.
Mary : Well if you would not mind getting to it for I am feeling more and more ill by the minute.
Elizabeth: ( Thinking to herself) “Might she have the virus of the undead? I will proceed with caution just to be safe.”
Elizabeth: Do not fret I will try to make this as painless as possible. The reason I have called upon you is to discuss why you believe Persuasion is better than the work in which I am in Pride and prejudice Zombies?
Mary: Well for many reasons but do to my terrible illness I do not wish to go through all of them. But I try my best to do it anyways. Persuasion is the superior for many reasons. How could one not love the Elliot Family! Excluding maybe Anne who can be quite bother. One might say I have a little bit of the “ Elliot pride” but I believe they are not much but jealous.
Elizabeth: I am sure your family is lovely if they produced a lady as kind and decent as yourself.But I would argue Pride and Prejudice Zombies is the superior.The Bennet family is just as agreeable. We trained in the art of war all our lives and are fairly independent unlike the ladies in Persuasion. And are quite more than adequate with a sword.
Mary: Well I for one would prefer a husband and a comfortable life over fighting the undead any day.
DeleteElizabeth: Well I for one would prefer being my own person over becoming a sort of property in exchange for a boring life. I would prefer to fight and earn for my luxuries.
Elizabeth: I believe that the ever present threat of the undead sent from the ground adds a spice perse that compliments Jane Austen original Pride and Prejudice and keeps the work entertaining and suspenseful at all times.
Mary: Ugh! I have no fancy for undead, sickly, unclean demons trying to eat my flesh at every corner. There is plenty of action and suspense in Persuasion! Who would have predicted Louisa taking that massive fall and nearly losing her life in a matter of seconds. And who would have predicted the surprising reaction given off by Captain Wentworth when this occurred. His collected matter was nowhere to be found contrary to the usually confident manner he exerts. Or the exhilarating parties that I had the pleasure of attending surely those are considered action packed.
Elizabeth: Well to each their own.( Elizabeth chuckles internally) Entertainment differs from person to person perhaps. But how can you deny that the action packed dialogues from Pride and Prejudice Zombies are an exhilaration as well. It takes the beautiful crafted dialogue from the original and combines it with graceful and precise combat to the death!
Mary: ( Eyes wide) I am not particularly a lover of violence but that does sound interesting. In Persuasion there are many riveting love stories that are entirely complex and unfold at perfect timing.As much as I am unhappy about the relationship between Anne and Captain Wentworth and even though I believe it should have much more have been me in her position I will admit that the fashion in which it unraveled was at least an experience to say the very least. How a couple could go from being together to not interacting back to being in love again is against any logical reason! But it was entertaining to see it plan out.
Elizabeth: The same can most certainly be argued about Pride and Prejudice Zombies!Who could ever guess that Jane would reunite with Mr.Bingley in the way she did. She came to his rescue in a time where it seemed as his he was a goner. Yet in the knick of time she saved him and they from their on were assured to become partners.
Mary: That does sound very courageous.
Elizabeth: And who could have ever imagined that I would ever fall in love with the man who I originally despised to my core. Especially in the way I did! Escaping death by a hair! That is true romance at its very finest!
Mary: Yes but you cannot deny that Captain Wentworth's letter to Anne was nothing less than heartwarming! Admitting that he only made an appearance in order to be close to Anne. And when he came forward and admitted he never lost feelings for Anne was quite heartfelt.
Elizabeth: Mr. Darcy’s letter was most definitely superior. Hoping for no gain to himself he wrote the letter in order to clear any ill thinking of himself from my mind. How Gentlemanlike that was of him. I noticed that the letter in Persuasion was most definitely not as planned out and precise as Mr.Darcy's as well. It seemed almost rushed.
Mary: In his defense he had little time to create such a letter!
DeleteElizabeth: Maybe so, the letter created by Darcy was still more eloquent and had more pure intentions to me.
Mary: Perhaps, can it be denied though that Kellynch hall, Uppercross manor, Lyme, and Bath are most certainly more pleasant than a zombie infested hellhole such as the london portrayed in your work.
Elizabeth. ( Offended, considers vanquishing Mary then and there but refuses the urge reluctantly) This “hellhole” is not even close to as monotonous as the places in which you call pleasant.
Mary:(In shock) Well this conversation has gotten a tad too aggressive for me and I am feeling quite ill unfortunan- (coughs)
Elizabeth- (Slowly reaches further and further for blade hidden in her stocking) Are you unwell? Should I arrange your departure?
Mary: Yes that would be best ( Mary says through hard coughs, Mary turns back to Elizabeth)
Elizabeth: (Deciding whether to slay Mary decides against it) Well thank you for being oh so generous with showing me a visit nonetheless.
Mary: Yes, I think we can agree to disagree,farewell Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: (Elizabeth regretting her hesitation to vanquish Mary says through gritted teeth) Farewell Mary!
DeleteThe busy parlor of a manor in Bath was overtaken by the strong presence of a starkly suspicious Mr. Darcy and a Mr. Elliot with a condescending energy; an energy that could trap that keenest of conversationalists with a persuasive smile.
ReplyDeleteMr. Elliot: You must be that Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy I read of in that novel Pride and Prejudice!
Mr. Darcy: You would be correct in assuming so. And I return your observation with one of mine, that you may be that Mr. William Elliot in that fellow charming novel Persuasion.
Mr. Elliot: Yes… yes that is me; how sharp of you!
Mr. Darcy: Please save your fraternization, Mr. Elliot. I have no business with you nor the interest in having future business with you.
Mr. Elliot: Tsk tsk! So quick to judge a person from evidence from a novel. I am afraid whatever notes you have made some terrible generalizations on my personnage, for I assure you I am not who you think I am.
Mr. Darcy: And what makes you think I have bad thoughts on your personnage? I merely only stated that I didn’t wish to fraternize…
Mr. Elliot: Well I know you read that I had terrible intentions towards my good cousin Anne, which I assumed would put me out in poor taste to you.
Mr. Darcy: Please, save your breath; I wish you not to waste it arguing a novel not in nearly the same class as Pride and Prejudice.
Mr. Elliot: Come again? I hear your words and they have the dissonance of a tritone! I think Persuasion, although it is inaccurate of my character, a just as fascinating, if not dominant novel to Pride and Prejudice!
Mr. Darcy: I beg you, spare me the syntax.
Mr. Elliot: I mean, you could probably tell from my agreeable self so far that my true character is revealed in my first impression of the novel! Not the lies that follow it later.
Mr. Darcy: So, I beg the question Mr. Elliot, why were those so called “lies” inserted into the novel in the first place?
Mr. Elliot: To give excitement to the novel clearly! A large personality, adored by many, would’ve made for a wonderful conniving fiend!
Mr. Darcy: Ah, yes, the equivalent to a patroness slandering the grand name of Judas.
Mr. Elliot: What do you imply with those words, Darcy?
DeleteMr. Darcy: I mean to say that you injure your own rhetoric, Mr. Elliot. The grandeur of Pride and Prejudice came from the genuine retelling of my wife and I’s story. To say that your novel was the work of a lie and a non authentic story is to hurt your own self.
Mr. Elliot: Oh pish! Do you mean to express that all those demeaning characters in Pride and Prejudice were written how they are in real life?
Mr. Darcy: That is exactly the point I am making.
Mr. Elliot: So Mr. Collins is gross?
Mr. Darcy: Yes.
Mr. Elliot: Your aunt, a Lady Catherine DeBourgh, is just as condescending and egotistical?
Mr. Darcy: Yes.
Mr. Elliot: Mr. Wickham is as deceptive and greedy as he was in the novel?
Mr. Darcy: Actually, he is more deceptive and greedy. Ms. Austen just had to lighten up on his character description, as Mr. Wickham attempted to sue her for slander. A true shame, as it would have been entertaining to watch Mr. Wickham expel that money on prostitutes and liquor.
Mr. Elliot: How absurd! I cannot believe this! Who can attest to your claims to prove your truthfulness?
Mr. Darcy patrolled the room to see if there was another acquaintance that could provide clear evidence of his claims, a task not too hard to fulfill. From the selection, there was a passed out Mr. Hurst, who smelled strongly of bourbon; a Mr. Collins arguing with Sir Walter Elliot on the values of Rosings and Kellynch; and a quiet Mary Bennet, reading quietly.
Mr. Darcy: Mary, my good sister, please entertain us on a subject?
Mary Bennet: Aye but only briefly.
Mr. Darcy: In one word, could you describe to me the accuracy of the character descriptions in Pride and Prejudice?
Mary Bennet: Excruciating.
Mr. Darcy: Thank you, you may return to your novel.
[Exeunt Mary]
Mr. Darcy: I request to know any other wrongdoings of the novel I defend?
DeleteMr. Elliot: Bite your thumb, Darcy.
Mr. Darcy: Ah, and now I can observe your true lack of gallantry!
Mr. Elliot: What do you beckon?
Mr. Darcy: I know your breed of gentlemen, Mr. Elliot.
Mr. Elliot: My breed? Bullocks! I have no part in this foul breed that you imply, sir!
Mr. Darcy: Let me tell you now that I have dealt closely with masters of manipulation before, and I will not let my guard down for you. Tell me, when you were reading Pride and Prejudice, did not the personnage of George Wickham remind you of yourself?
Mr. Elliot: Don’t try and draw Mr. Wickham and myself into the same territory! That is absolutely absurd. Mr. Wickham only tried to wed Lydia because he knew that she could fix his fiscal adversities.
Mr. Darcy: Is that not the same reason you tried to wed Anne?
Mr. Elliot: Well, I, uh... well that isn’t the same!
Mr. Darcy: Mr. Elliot, the game of love is easily observable in its many aspects. In your specific case, you wanted nothing more than a meaningless marriage that you could extract the funds out of.
Mr. Elliot: Could you not tell from my words of endearment that I truly was in love with Anne?
Mr. Darcy: Your love bombing had no more taste than a platter of dry toast from a farm in the marshes of Scotland. The only reason your words made any sort of influence on your poor cousin, is because you fed the toast to someone who was starving.
Mr. Elliot: I will take no more of your slag. I am nothing like Wickham.
Mr. Darcy: Whilst I will not say you two are completely alike, I will claim you two are very much alike. The only difference is that you are more dangerous, Mr. Elliot. Not many know of any of your ill intentions, much like Wickham, but it is how you are able to manipulate that makes you more dangerous.
Mr. Elliot: And how is that?
Mr. Darcy: Mr. Wickham is reckless in his actions. It is obvious that he wanted to make Elizabeth his wife before I did, but he knew she was too clever for him and he sought an easier victim. Your skill in manipulation is leagues above his. Anne, although not as sharp as Elizabeth, is still respectable in her right, but you almost got her. The only reason for you plot falling through is because she was informed of you by that Mrs. Smith figure.
Mr. Elliot: Well Mr. Darcy, although what you accuse me of is vicious and rude, I cannot help but admit my flattery that you see my manipulative skills above Wickham’s.
Mr. Darcy: So you do admit that you are the same untrustworthy figure that is shown in Persuasion?
Mr. Elliot checks the inside of his jacket to his imaginary pocket watch.
Mr. Elliot: Ah it is that time isn’t it? My car waits for me outside!
Mr. Elliot fast walks out of the parlor in a fashion that of a gazelle running from a tiger.
[Exeunt Mr. Elliot]
I enjoyed this one a lot Ethan nice job.
DeletePride and prejudice vs persuasion dialogue
ReplyDeleteScene: Meriton, 10 year after the events of both books
Jane: Ohh, Mrs.Wentworth I never expected to see you in Meriton of all places. Meriton is very far from Bath. How are you?
Anne Elliot: Mrs.Bingley, you look so well. I came to Meriton with my sister Mary as her favorite bakery is here. She insisted I come along but somehow we have separated from each other. Would you do me the pleasure of joining me for a cup of tea?
Jane: Of course, How was Pride and Prejudice, the book I recommend you in my letters.
Anne: It was very agreeable. It is by the same author of the book I recommend you.
Jane: Really?
Anne: yes, I thought all the characters were amiable except for that Mr. Wickham. I especially like the friendship of both Elizabeth and Jane. I wish I had such a closeness with one of my dear sisters though I do get along with Mary well. How was persuasion?
Jane: Persuasion was an agreeable read. The way Anne started to speak out more like when she stood up to her father about going to Mrs.Smith’s reminded me of how Elizabeth was when she spoke out to Lady Catherine De Bourgh. With confident that I wish I had.
Anne: The book you recommended me is the best of ms.austen’s work. I must say the love between Elizabeth and Darcy is one of a kind and I felt they were very much in love at the end. This book is the most charming book I have ever come across,ohh what a brilliant read, I shall recommend it to Mary once I get the chance. While persuasion feel a little rushed, pride and prejudice was a nice pace and the themes of love above classes was quite prominent and I agree. I have made a mistake in my life before putting money and class before love but I was given a second chance to have love again and I will never let go of it.
Jane: that was beautiful Miss Anne though I think Persuasion has a better theme of classes vs how much money you have. Though captain wentworth has money, he does not have any status in society. The Elliot family that has status but have no money because they spent it all.
Anne: I have to disagree pride and prejudice though light hearted has a way to make it so many can connect with it and understand the themes that I think Persuasion is missing. The characters might be more straightforward in pride and prejudice but this makes it easier for people to understand, get to know and connect with them better.
Jane: But in persuasion they are more real and there is not as clear of an antagonist and protagonist like pride and prejudice.
Anne: I think they both are beautiful novels about love and society. We can agree on that much. I had a lovely time but I am sorry I have to find Mary. Hope I see you again. Take care.
Jane: you too.
F. Darcy: Good Afternoon Captain Wentworth, my name is Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, you may know me as a character from the book Pride and Prejudice.
ReplyDeleteCpt. Wentworth: Good Afternoon Mr. Darcy. I don’t remember hearing that you were coming to Kellynch today.
F. Darcy: I did not announce my arrival, it has come to my attention that our books were authored by the same person, I have not come across any of her other novels yet, but I have heard that there are others. After having read both of our novels I have determined that mine is better.
Cpt. Wentworth: I do believe that your opinion may be a bit biased, based upon the fact that you are one of the good characters in Pride and Prejudice, and not in Persuasion. I, personally, believe that Persuasion is indeed better than Pride and Prejudice.
F. Darcy: I, then, shall present my evidence. First, my book has more humor than yours and it has better humor. Second, actions of mine tend to come from somewhere, where as your letter to Anne seemed out of the blue. And Third, while I attempted to court Elizabeth I was not running around with other girls after she said no the first time.
Cpt. Wentworth: The quality of Humor cannot be measured, therefore saying that it has better humor is completely subjective. Also our humor is mostly jabs at Anne and I about Marriage but they’re unintentional because they don’t know about our past together.
F. Darcy: There are also much lower stakes in your story, in Pride and Prejudice Mr. Wickham is trying to have an affair with Lydia Bennet, and if it weren’t for me they would not have gotten married. And you have not addressed my other statements.
Cpt. Wentworth: As for your second and third points, I can admit that it seemed like my actions came from nowhere because the book does not often portray my point of view, As for your third point, those women were seeking me out, I simply tolerated them. I had no intention to marry or have any intimate relations with either of them. I will also admit that the stakes are lower, but people do have medical emergencies in our book, like falling out of trees or falling off of stairs.
F. Darcy: Jane Bingley got deathly ill. We still beat you with medical emergencies.
Cpt. Wentworth: What is this a competition now?
F. Darcy: Well if we’re arguing about whose book is better, then probably.
Cpt. Wentworth: Well at least my most attractive quality isn’t money.
F. Darcy: At least my character was good enough to attract the person I loved after they had been so repulsed by me, instead of repulsing those attracted to me. Also, my most attractive quality is the fact that I will go out of my way to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of others.
Cpt. Wentworth: How can we determine objectively whose book is better? Isn’t quality completely subjective.
F. Darcy: Quality is subjective up to a point. You can’t expect anyone to like a dilapidated one room house that has broken plumbing over a millionaire’s mansion.
Cpt. Wentworth: Are you calling my book a dilapidated one room house with no plumbing?
F. Darcy: No, but the fact that you would assume that I am says a lot about your book.
*opens with Darcy and Captain Wentworth *
ReplyDeleteWentworth: Well, it certainly is pleasing to be speaking with the great Mr. Darcy.
Darcy: Oh please, I am honored to be here.
Wentworth: It seems to be that our wives have had a lengthy conversation of their own in which they had discussed the topics of the two beloved Jane Austen novels that depict our own lives.
Darcy: Ah, yes and I do believe they had come to an agreement as to which novel was in fact the superior.
Wentworth: I believe so.
Darcy: Erm, do you, by any chance, fancy one novel over the other?
Wentworth: I find that question quite difficult to answer for I, myself, read the both of them and cannot decide which is a worthier piece of literature.
Darcy: I must admit, I am quite glad to hear it. I, too have found that exercising judgement on the two works can be tricky.
Wentworth: However, I know that my Anne did so want me to discuss the topic with you, as she did with your Elizabeth.
Darcy: I’m rather curious to learn of the conclusion they had come to. I’m confident that whatever their final agreement was, was highly thought-out, with intelligent reasoning and powerful yet detailed points. For the two of them together make for the brightest women in all of England!
Wentworth: By all means, of course, Mr. Darcy! Although, I think it best that we begin examining the novels ourselves, for it is my understanding they will not tolerate our return without our coming to a conclusion prior.
*both laugh*
Darcy: I’d like to say that as remarkable as Pride and Prejudice is, Jane Austen’s later novel Persuasion expressed an exquisite love story like no other! And was written as Austen was on her deathbed, it seems as if she could not stop writing, no matter her health, for the importance of this novel was too high.
Wentworth: It is rather extraordinary, isn’t it? Her determination and strong mind, it is very evident in her writing how passionate she was. However, I found Pride and Prejudice to be a highly intriguing story that I found quite difficult to put down. Especially towards the second half of the novel, when Lydia takes off with the cruel Mr. Wickham and you came to Elizabeth and her family’s rescue, even after being rejected in marriage in such a heartbreaking manner! You are a hero and a romantic.
Darcy: *blushing* Well, in Elizabeth’s defense I had made myself appear as a highly disagreeable man with too much pride, but nothing can beat you and Anne’s happy ending! After tragically being rejected, you had not seen or heard from one another in 8 years, but were then reunited and slowly but surely fell back in love. Even with all the time that had gone by, I think that story is truly magnificent.
ReplyDeleteWentworth: It appears that we can agree that Austen knows how to tell a powerful love story.
Darcy: It appears so. I do have one more thing to comment on though. I have been criticized for being too prideful in Pride and Prejudice however I have never met a creature with too much pride such as Sir. Walter Elliot, he is a completely self-obsessed man to the point of embarrassment. I cannot possibly imagine having such a disagreeable family member such as him.
Wentworth: Oh really? It seems as though Lizzy’s mother may be just as unpleasant. She is a much too excitable woman who seems to be a bit clueless at times.
Darcy: I’m beginning to detect a similarity between the novels, however different they may be Austen’s writing style is clear, it is quite obvious she loves a happy marriage but can also recognize the absurdity of other relationships such as Charles and Mary Musgrove.
Wentworth: Yes, I do know what you mean.
Darcy: I cannot bring myself to select one novel over the other. I view them as two very important books, one written very early in her career and the other at the very end of it. I see how she changed as a woman and as a writer between these novels, yet still kept true to her values and beliefs which is highly respectable.
Wentworth: I completely agree. Now the problem is, what do we tell Elizabeth and Anne.
*Elizabeth and Anne enter*
Elizabeth: You tell us just what you stated, you couldn’t choose one over the other, just like Anne and I could not.
Anne: Both novels will stand the test of time and we will remember Jane Austen by them for what she was, a truly exceptional writer, who changed the way we think about things like marriage, equality and society.
Mrs. Bennet frantically walks into the sitting room, where Sir Elliott Walter and Elizabeth Walter were peacefully eating their crumpets and sipping their tea.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Bennet: OH SIR ELLIOT WALTER!!
Sir Elliot Walter: Oh what now is this nonsense, Mrs. Bennet!?!
Mrs. Bennet: I HEARD ENOUGH OF YOUR RUBBISH NONSENSE!
SEW: What do you mean by my rubbish nonsense?
B: Oh I’ve heard it all! How you say the utmost humiliating nonsense about my dearest family and the sons-in-law of my daughters.
SEW: (chokes on tea) I beg your pardon, but THAT is the utmost rubbish I have heard all day.
B: Oh, don’t you try to be so dishonest with me. I’ve heard enough of what you have to say about the story of my family. In fact, I’ve had the most delight in reading this book…... Well, my dear Mary had read to me. I dare say that it does a splendid job of showing the good and delighted parts of our time. Oh, how it distinguished so much of the fun and hectic times of my many relations and connections with others and beloved daughters, especially my youngest Lydia.
SEW: *sips the tea while looking away from Mrs. Bennet*
Sir Walter was clearing his throat after Mrs. Bennet had rambled which had felt like decades for him.
Well, I beg to differ Mrs. Bennet! For your stories were considerable dreadful and the many connections you’ve said to have, I think highly doubtful of it.
Your daughter Lydia had no common sense whatsoever and her acquaintances with others were very informal. Especially already submitting to a man whom she’s only met through the connections of soldiers…. PREPOSTEROUS!
B: OHHH SIR WALTER! Have you no shame for YOUR daughters. Though Anne is a very sweet girl, she didn’t marry until she was MUCH TOO OLD for her age.
ReplyDeleteAnd what about your daughter Elizabeth, over there!?!
Elizabeth stops drinking her tea and chokes a little bit.
She’s just going to rot with all the other rubbish and manure that’s sitting in the servant’s quarters!
SEW: OHH HOW DARE YOU! FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, MY DAUGHTER ELIZABETH WILL BE ENGAGED TO MR. ELLIOT!
Mrs. Bennet looks with suspicion, as she knows very well that they were never engaged in the first place. Elizabeth slowly looks away from Mrs. Bennet as Mrs. Bennet eyes Elizabeth and Sir Walter.
Sir Walter clears his throat again for the second time and eagerly changes the subject.
SEW: (clears throat) Well….As for the book, I do have to say that it’s so inordinate for my taste. It was excessively enthusiastic for reasons unknown and the people show no real emotions but that horrible enthusiasm like some people in here!
B: Oh, if they did have some manners of their own! In other words, I’d say that your book wasn’t so pleasing to read as well. It is so dull and vague that I almost slept from boredom. Oh, how Mary and Kitty had to wake me up from my slumber. Your book wasn’t even worth my reading. I’m sure Miss Austen just got tired of you all.
*Elizabeth sips the tea, eyeing on her father
SEW: Well now,... I’m sure Miss Austen isn’t easily a force to be reckoned with. I think she had a very good reason as to why she made it seem so dull. Although I’ve heard that she was terribly bedridden when writing MY family book, I think that she had a decent ending, which was quite bittersweet if you ask me. And in the end, my daughter Anne DID get married, but not the man I had in mind, or if any man in that matter.
He chuckled and changed in his mood quickly into his normal temperament.
OH BLOODY HELL WHY OUT OF ALL MEN DID SHE MARRY THAT HORRENDOUS WENTWORTH! AND I THINK THAT BINGLEY AND DARCY WERE SO IMPROPER FOR NOT ASKING YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND FOR YOUR DAUGHTER’S HAND IN MARRIAGE.
Mrs.Bennet looked appalled by Sir Walter’s commentary and was beginning to think that Sir Elliot Walter was the most imprudent, disagreeable, and horrid man alive in England.
B: Well... they didn’t even have to. For they were men with good fortune and good intentions for my daughters. They were oh so most handsome men I’ve had ever seen for my daughters. I guess you could say that both of them are better than your incompetent Wentworth.
SEW: OH YOUR DOMINANCE OF THIS CONVERSATION HAS GONE TO FAR, MRS. BENNET! If you would please excuse yourself, Mrs. Bennet, for you have tested my patience for today.
B: Very well then. I’ll shall go back to Longbourn and arrive by the fortnight of today. I’ve also heard enough of your rubbish today. Please excuse my acquaintance.
Mrs. Bennet exits out of the sitting room, as the Sir Elliot Walter fumes with anger of loosing the argument.
Ms. Austen got tired of them all, did she? WELL, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHY, FOR I GOT TIRED OF THEM, TOO!
DeleteWilliam Mears
ReplyDelete11/30/18
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies vs. Pride and Prejudice
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is spoken about as a book, because movies were yet to have been invented.
The YLAWIJANBC “Young Ladies and Women In Jane Austen Novels Book Club” meets every Saturday in Bath. Members of the club are each assigned a book to read, and must review it at the club. Elizabeth commutes by dragon, and when Anne recollects that the automobile is yet to exist, she contacts Elizabeth for transportation.
Elizabeth Arrives at the humble abode of Anne and Captain Wentworth. Anne runs out abruptly, and climbs upon the dragon.
Elizabeth: “I appreciate your consideration for my time. My time has been bored enough already, as I come prepared today to discuss Austen’s Persuasion!”
Anne: “Bored? You must have been missing something, Elizabeth, as that storyline unfurled to me like a flower in the spring.
The dragon begins to ascend, and the young ladies began their journey to Bath.
Anne: Well I, for one, abhorred the book in which I was assigned. I forced myself to sit through the entire monstrosity of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. From the first to the last page, this novel made a mockery of one of Austen’s greatest works.
Elizabeth: At any instant I’d choose a mockery over a bore from page one! Must the entire first chapter have been a description of Sir Walter’s family? Couldn’t the first chapter have included some excitement, some China? Had the first chapter not been about as entertaining as the dictionary, there would have been some room to develop the characters throughout the entire book.
Anne: So, you expect the novel to reveal Sir Walter’s backstory throughout 188 pages? It’s called a “backstory” for a reason, and I’d argue that Sir Walter’s backstory was most appropriate! A basic history of the family makes it much easier to follow along with the characters identities.. I’d say the death of his wife, Baronetage, and who the parents favor is far more relevant to setting up an outstanding, intellectual novel. How the Bennet daughters trained in China shows nothing towards their character and gives no basis for a character’s development.
Anne: And is there any explanation to be offered for how this novel mocks an original masterpiece? The beginning of Pride and Prejudice was mainly about Bingley’s arrival in Netherfield Park, and the stir that it caused in the town and with the Bennet family. When Bingley was first introduced in the novel, he was fair game to every lady in the area! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies effectively introduced him as Jane’s husband.
Elizabeth: You claim falsely! The novel still spoke of Mrs. Bennett's interest in Bingley for her daughters at the dance. ALL of her daughters.
Anne: But you forget how in the gross adaptation, Bingley was said to have fallen smitten for Jane before Mrs. Bennet even mentioned an interest in him for her daughters.
Elizabeth: Stop comparing and start glaring. You cannot think of these books as a comparison, you must see them for what they are individually.
Anne: Individually, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is terrible.
Elizabeth: Out of curiosity, Anne, who cares of Bingley’s arrival at the manor? You need two chapters of boring dialogue to develop the first and least relevant relationship in the story? What could you possibly argue when comparing that boring situation to love at first sight and a horde of zombies.
ReplyDeleteAnne: You are not an intellectual.
Elizabeth throws Anne off of the dragon in an attempt to kill her, which fails because they have just landed. They walk into the book club, and the tyranious head of the book club, Lady Macbeth, demands a summary of each books climax. Anne begans.
Anne: In the midst of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”, there is an intriguing, well developed climax in Darcy’s letter to Elizabeth. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies took this climax, and added information which lead to nonsense. The turning point in the novel was of Wickham’s intentions to elope with darcy's sister, and the addition of the murder of Darcy’s father would seem to add in a second climax, which completely changed the story. Instead of Jane Austen’s genius, dramatic, and romantic end, we receive one which involves violence and stupidity!
Elizabeth, offended by such a harsh opinion towards one of her favorite books, immediately rises to state her opposition.
Elizabeth: More suspense! This bit of information made the climax of the story all the more exciting, and although it was not in direct relation to the original story line, who cares?
Anne: To myself, it sounds as if someone was trying to fix something that wasn’t even broken! And you say “who cares?”, which seems to have been thought of as an ideal by the maker of this novel.
Elizabeth ignores Anne’s point and continues on her rant.
Elizabeth: And about Persuasions climax, I don’t believe to have ever happened upon it. If one were to ask me what it were, I would have said Louisa Musgrove falling off a stone wall! Persuasion blandly glides through the engagement of multiple characters. Had the main character not so obviously been Anne, I would have never known which marriage should have been a revelation in that book.
Anne: Pig-brained fool! Any intelligible being could have seen that the suspense was in whether or not Captain Wentworth had maintained his love for Elizabeth throughout the years. You have no taste for drama, nor a storyline.
Elizabeth: But what is love without war?
Anne: A book with a storyline.
Having been pushed to her limit, Elizabeth invites Anne to “take this argument outside”. They come upon a very large cliff with the orange sun setting in the background, a reasonable place for Elizabeth to release her anger.
Anne: I saved the worst for last, Elizabeth. It brings myself great pain to recollect the ending to this terrible novel.
Elizabeth: And how might you explain this? Are you enraged that the author opted to have an army of zombies fighting instead of eloping? I’ve about had it with your foolishness.
Anne: It’s much more than that, Elizabeth. The ending of your book is where all hell breaks loose. It is messy, disgusting, and an insult to Jane Austen. Wickham almost kills Darcy, and Darcy stabs Wickham? I pray to the lord that I am missing some sort of metaphor here, but assuming that I am correct, your ending has made Jane Austen continuously rollover in her grave to the point where she has effectively become a human drill.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth has no response. Though persuasion had an ending that avoided violence, Elizabeth, like any other reader, was enticed by the drama. She enjoyed the shock in Mr. Elliot, possibly due to some sort of “emotional violence.” Elizabeth does all that she knows to due, and draws her sword. She takes one mighty swing at Anne, and Anne takes one mighty step to the left. Elizabeth proceeds to fall off of the cliff, and Anne can rest easy knowing that no one will ever challenge that such a foolish novel is better than Persuasion.
I saw that I wrote due in the last paragraph and changed it before submitting to turn it in
Delete*William Collins is walking in the town of Bath, enjoying the luxurious shops and stores, and happens to run into William Elliot in one of Bath’s many fine libraries. Collins walks over to Mr Elliot because he has read about him in the book Persuasion and wishes to talk to him about it.*
ReplyDeleteCollins: “Mr Elliot! What a pleasure it is to meet you, I had previously read about you and your connections to the Elliot family in the fine novel Persuasion.
Elliot: “And who would you be?”
Collins: “Why I am Mr Collins, I am in the clergy at Hunsford Parsonage, and my patroness is none other than the infamous Lady Catherine de Bourgh, have you heard the name?
Elliot: “Oh! Of course, you are very fortunate to have so great a patroness.”
Collins: “That’s what I have been saying!”
Collins: “Have you had the chance to read the novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen? It is a very fine novel and I happen to be one of the main characters(smirks confidently). I believe it is Austen’s best novel.”
Elliot: “Yes I have, and I too am very fond of Jane Austen. However, I can assure you that Pride and Prejudice does not come close to the masterpiece of Persuasion.”
Collins: “I understand that the book does encompass many insults towards me and my patroness, but you can not possibly believe a book written in the final years of Austen’s life is comparable to her breakthrough novel Pride and Prejudice.”
Elliot: “ I certainly can compare the two! Jane Austen was at the top of her writing career when she wrote Persuasion.”
*Collins and Elliot walk together down the streets of Bath, discussing the debatable issue at hand.*
Collins: “I believe Pride and Prejudice is easily the superior novel, the plot possesses traits of romance and the quantity of humor in the novel is to the perfect degree. When Lizzy Bennet first talks to Darcy and exposes his pride, I nearly fell over my pew in laughter.”
Collins: “Lizzy Bennett I have learned is a very ungrateful and selfish woman, and I am tremendously grateful that I ended the relationship existing between us.”
Elliot: “That’s not what I heard. I am told that she actually denied your proposal!”
Collins: “And where were you told that?!”
Elliot: “From the novel which indeed went into much detail about the proposal and your incompetence to be denied...”
Collins: “Oh and what happened between Anne Elliot and yourself?”
*Long silence ensues*
Elliot: “I would like to say that Persuasion has equally the amount of romance and comedy, if not more. I found it quite entertaining when Louisa childishly jumped off a high wall, hoping Wentworth would catch her. However, she found love with Captain Benwick in her recovery, so I guess it was all for the better.”
Collins: “Persuasion is a copy of Pride, even it’s romance is the same. The overall theme of Pride and Prejudice is about breaking prejudices and social class, which I think is shown beautifully in the relationship between Darcy and Elizabeth. Anne and Wentworth’s story does not even come close!”
Elliot: “It is absolutely not! I think their story was easily more romantic, Lizzy and Darcy don’t like each other at first but end up falling in love, how generic!”
*A carriage arrives looking for Mr Collins, and it is Charlotte and her family in it, who speak to him briefly. Collins says good day to Mr Elliot and leaves frantically, and Elliot becomes nervous after he overheard the party talking of ZOMBIES*
*The scene opens up to Anne and Lizzy meeting up in town by the Pemberley estate. Lizzy had been waiting anxiously to talk to Anne about a matter that her mother brought up the other night at dinner.*
ReplyDeleteL: Good afternoon Anne, how is the Captain doing? Quite alright I am assuming.
A: He is doing quite fine thank you Lizzy, and Mr. Darcy, how is he?
L: Splendid, he will be delighted that you asked. Oh! Mrs. Wentworth, there was one thing that I have that is worth a discussion. If you have the time I would be delighted to have your acquaintance for tea.
A: And I would be delighted to join you, Frederick can miss me for a while longer.
*at the pemberley estate*
A: Oh how I love taking rides through Derbyshire, what a beautiful countryside!
L: It is quite lovely isn't it.
*Darcy shouting from the other room*
D: Only the best for you my dear!
*Anne and Lizzy share a laugh and Lizzy calls for tea*
A: Lizzy, please tell me what you wanted to tell me, i'm dying to know!
L: Alright, alright…
*Lizzy pours Anne a cup of tea*
L: My mother told me that she thinks that Darcy and myself have a better lovestory than you and the captain!
A: It's rather humorous that you brought that up… My father has a contradiction on that.
L: Well Anne, I don't think the issue at hand is who’s story is better, its that our parents do not agree!
*Laughter erupted from both girls*
A: Why does your mother think that? How did this topic even appear in a conversation?
L: Oh you know my mother, as soon as Persuasion came out she just HAD to read it to make sure Miss Austen had not outshone the Bennet family.
A: Well, oh and no offense Lizzy, my family is more wealthy than your family, and I am biased, but I do think that Captain Wentworth and myself do in fact have the better love story.
L: Oh Anne you must be joking! How could you and Wentworth have the better story? I thought you were more level headed then your father, but now you have just proved me wrong!
*Lizzy was in a fit of laughter now, making Anne turn red*
A: Enlighten me Elizabeth, what is it about a man that tells someone that you're not handsome enough to tempt him is romantic?
DeleteL: Well, Mrs. Wentworth, what is romantic about a woman waiting around for the man she loves to become wealthy? Anne dear, I know it’s hard for us woman to not fall into the social normalities of this society but it would have been much more exciting if you thought for yourself.
A: How could you even say such a thing Lizzy? It was easy for you because the man you loved was already making £10,000 a year!
L: You are right Anne, the only reason I married Darcy was because of the money he made.
A: That's not what I am saying! I am saying it was easier for you.
L: I guess you're correct, but you know that Mr. Darcy and myself have gone through our own troubles, not as fortunate as yours and the Captains, but still rather heavy.
A: Okay Lizzy, I see your point, but when you really think about the details of the situation, they aren't that different.
L: That is absolutely ridiculous Anne! Please enlighten me on how you have come to this conclusion!
A: Well for starters, both of our families weren't crazy about the man that we chose. Your mother thought Darcy was a rude and prideful and my father and Lady Russell convinced me not to marry Captain Wentworth when he wasn’t so well off.
L: Why yes Anne I can see the similarity there but that doesn’t fully warrant the idea that our love stories are the same.
A: Well if you would let me finish then you would see what I was going to proceed with. Miss Austen wrote the dynamic of our stories the same. At first it seemed like it would work out, and when it was about to, something got in the way of that. In my case with the Captain, it was his financial state that made my family and friends convince me that it was not a good idea. In your case with Darcy, there were many factors that lead you to say no to him, like the whole misunderstanding with Jane and his past with Mr. Wickham. But in the end we all figured it out and got the happy endings we wanted.
L: I guess you're right Anne. When you break it down I guess our relationships are not that different. But I do still think that Darcy and myself have a more interesting and romantic story.
A: Okay that's enough Elizabeth, you are really pushing me. Yes in a sense they are different but we just established that they are the same. We both fought hard for the love that we got and I would appreciate it if you realized that.
L: you are right Anne and I am sorry. We can agree that our love lives are different, but still good in their own ways. But Anne, I am afraid that we still have a problem…
A: Dear God what now Lizzy?
L: Our parents still think one is better than the other!
*The scene fades out to the girls giggling over their strong opinionated parents.*